Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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