SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
