adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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