I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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