Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
