I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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