Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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