So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
