Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
