They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize
