So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
