Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize