So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
