She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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