Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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