just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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