Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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