let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
