I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We talked him into tasing himself.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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