The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
