the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
