I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
