You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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