Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
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