woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
