So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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