And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
