just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
