If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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