Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
