Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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