Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what day is it and did you see me today?
zippers are such a cool invention
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Sorry about my life...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
