I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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