Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
