you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
