You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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