my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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