we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
