Your mouth is God's brothel.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
