i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
