Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
