I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
