I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
