A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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