My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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