Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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