He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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