and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
