why didn't you poke me back
look no pants
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
