Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
