I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
