a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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