Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
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