I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
